The game at hand

Short-attention-span synopsis: No flag plant. No need for Barrett piñata. J.T., J.K., K.J. Show. Patch up wound Sooner than later: Mission accomplished.

Pregame buzz: A narrative about the first-ever game against the storied Black Knights was buried in the radioactive angst pile left over from the Oklahoma meltdown. With all due respect to Army, and the Black Knights deserve all respect possible, this baby was all about the Bucks and Barrett bouncing back.

The $70 question: Fans paid $120 less than they did for the previous week’s fiasco, and they got to cheer instead of jeer. Well, at least they did after waking up from Army’s 99-yard scoring drive, which lasted longer than "War and Peace." What it lacked in thrills, it made up for in class between opponents and a much-needed win to calm local nerves.

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One-liner: Best cure for a loss: Aaaarrrrrmy training, sir.

Just wondering: Six days of public bashing doesn’t rattle Barrett. Instead of lashing back, the OSU senior quarterback lets his stats answer critics: 25 of 33 passing for 270 yards and two touchdowns and 32 yards rushing with a score. He’s now 28-5 and holds the Big Ten record by accounting for 107 touchdowns. Dude must do daily yoga in a room lit by candles.

The View

How the team sees it: “It was a duty and honor to show everyone we weren’t the team you had strapped to the medieval rack.”

How the pollsters will see it: “Zzzzzzzzz, you beat a team that has completed four passes in three games, albeit with more guts and courage than civilians can muster.”

Urban dictionary

What he said: “That’s why a lot of us have very narrow circles.”

What it means: “We’d rather just have food sent to us in the cellar after a defeat. Nice to see the sunshine again.”

If this was 'Apocalypse Now'

Barrett would have reminded his fellow Bucks: “Never get off the boat.” They would have preceded up the Nung River, into the heart of lingering OSU defeats, and terminated with extreme prejudice the rogue Col. Walter E. Kurtz, known in these parts as Baker Mayfield.

What would Brutus Do?

Drop and give you 20 — actually 38, as in one push-up for every point scored by OSU.

They said it

Your turn/the channel: Props to the pride of Dublin, Brady Quinn. The local lad did nice work as analyst alongside play-by-play man Joe Davis. Now, Fox, can we do something about the length of those TV timeouts? There was time to dig a trench and not miss a play. No word on how the game sounded on the eight military bases that had radio feeds from the Army Sports Network.

Numbers for dummies

13.2: Average yards per carry for J.K. Dobbins on his 13 carries.

8: Number of Buckeyes who caught a pass, led by K.J. Hill’s eight receptions.

577: Number of seconds totaled in one Army drive for a touchdown.

94: Number of seconds totaled in two OSU drives for touchdowns.

91: The percentage of time Army ran the ball on its 64 offensive plays.

311: Average weight of OSU offensive linemen

270: Average weight of Army defensive linemen

17:57: Amount of time the Black Knights had the ball in one span of 21:10.

2: Number of captains on Army’s team, seven less than OSU.

On tap

The UNLV Rebels are coming to Columbus, which would be something if the late Jerry Tarkanian was bringing one of his flashy basketball teams from the desert. Instead, we’re talking football, and a UNLV team that lost its season-opener to 45-point underdog Howard. Not sure if that was Howard Hughes, Howard Stern or Howard the creepy guy on “The Andy Griffith Show.”


Best responses to @Todd_Jones on Twitter:

@Pray4Pax: “Nice change of pace: Both a well-played game & a Classy opponent! #AndTheBuckeyesGoRollingAlong”

@ylbcore: “nice win but going to see that fullback dive in my sleep”

@brettkersch: “Wake me when the paint dries #armyoffense”

@JonBauer7576: “Deuce is wild! #GoBucks”

@MattTwombly1: “JT Barrett is Troy Smith on passes less than 10 yards, and Joe Bauserman on everything else”

@ttdball: “9-3 losses to psu um”

@REMausser: “I prefer studying coaches entrails after ritual vivisection following losses”

Horseshoe haiku

Salute to Army

Buckeyes fire their own cannon

March on OSU