The game at hand

Short-attention-span synopsis: Ruh-roh, Rutgers. Weber hat trick. J.T. stands for “Just Take” another record. Ohio State swamps Jersey state school. Belch and move on.

Pregame buzz: This sucker had all the tension of wet rope. OSU was a 29-point favorite on the road against an opponent it had beaten the past three seasons by a total of 163-24. Only question was if a mortician would be stationed on the sideline.

The $100 question: They came, they saw, they took a bite out of the Big Apple, and wanted more. Never underestimate the blood lust of Buckeyes fans. With 43 seconds remaining and OSU clinging to a 56-0 lead, Rutgers lined up for a field goal attempt. Visiting fans chanted “Block that kick.” At least they stuck around in High Point Solutions Stadium, which is half the capacity of Ohio Stadium.

One-liner: Google “Rutgers, football, versus Ohio State,” and you’ll find a Stephen King novel.

Just wondering: There are 108 toxic waste dumps in New Jersey, most in the nation. Does that count Rutgers football? The Scarlet Knights have lost 16 consecutive Big Ten games, and 18 of their past 19. Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany, a New Jersey native, deemed Rutgers worthy of joining the league, in part because of the New York City TV market. Who is bothering to watch this dumpster fire?

The View

How the team sees it: “What is that on the bottom of our cleats? Oh, wait, it’s Rutgers.”

How the pollsters will see it: “Keep gouging on cupcakes. Keep losing respect in the rankings. Fight someone your own size.”

Urban dictionary

What he said: "We're on a roll, but we're also realistic.”

What it means: “Relax. You can only eat so much cotton candy.”

If this was a Bruce Springsteen song

The Buckeyes would be a ’69 Chevy with a 396, fuelie heads and a Hurst on the floor. Rutgers would be a rickshaw. With an elephant in the seat. And a one-armed man pulling uphill. OSU was born to run over the Scarlet Knights, back up, and run them over again just to make certain. Badlands indeed.

What would Brutus do?

Run the meat grinder at nearby Satriale’s. Hey, Paulie Walnuts said get rid of the body.

They said it

Your turn/the channel: Apparently the Big Ten Network doesn’t have the rights to show the 2011 film “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star.” Instead, BTN deemed “OSU-Rutgers IV: The Carnage Continues” worthy of prime time. At least we had Matt Millen making truck horn sounds in the booth. That caused Buckeyes fans to carpet-bomb Twitter with their usual Millen scorn. Question: Do we really need to review plays like they’re the Zapruder film when one team is leading by eight touchdowns?

Numbers for dummies

21: Number of times OSU has scored 50 or more points in Urban Meyer’s 72 games as coach of the Buckeyes.

30-5: J.T. Barrett’s career record as starting quarterback for the Buckeyes.

10,350: Career total yards of offense, an OSU record, gained by Barrett

114-0: Combined scored of OSU wins over Rutgers past two seasons.

1,297: Total yards gained by the Buckeyes in those two games.

325: Total yards gained by the Scarlet Knights in those two games.

20: Combined penalties in Saturday night’s game, 10 on each team.

2: Number of forward passes Rutgers threw on one play.

2: Number of penalties Rutgers was called for on that play.

9: Tackles for loss by OSU defense.

148-28: Total the Buckeyes have outscored three opponents since losing to Oklahoma.

On tap

Bucks go back to the Shoe for homecoming against Maryland. The fighting Turtles are 3-1 after a 31-24 victory at Minnesota. Maryland is 0-3 vs. OSU since joining the Big Ten. The three defeats have come by a combined 163-55, including 62-3 at home last season.

Tweethearts

Best responses to @Todd_Jones on Twitter:

@laxreftom: “Do I get a Buckeye leaf for staying up?”

@jleegill: “New Jersey legislature rushing to pass high school ‘running clock’ rule for college athletics.”

@R_A_Lash: “Shout out to the @BigTenNetwork for making us wait to watch this primetime game.” #InstantClassic

@ACBellino: “Rutgers … Awful. Schiano should be mandated by the BIG10 to go back to Head Coach to make them competitive again.”

@akneal61: “such a fine addition to the big 10 ….right West Virginia? Or ANYBODY ELSE”

@KenHuffman: “Send Rutgers to the locker room, and let’s play a Scarlet and Gray game.”

@OhioGabe: “Barrett IV to Dixon III for VI.”

@KJinOhio: “A documentary on Jimmy Hoffa would be more entertaining than this game.”

 

Horseshoe haiku

Going, going, gone

Here we come Jersey turnpike

Never to return

 

tjones@dispatch.com

@Todd_Jones