Ray Stein’s observations about Saturday’s game:

The game at hand

• Short-attention-span synopsis: Recess is officially over. Games like this are a cash cow for teams like Miami; so why do the RedHawks feel like hamburger? Everybody plays! Ohio State is a true MAC daddy. Thanks for the memories, Hop.

• Pregame buzz: Is that a question? If so, it’s a good one. Any droning sounds heard in central Ohio the past week emanated from humans and other creatures worn down beyond the nub by the summer’s relentless heat. In terms of anticipation of a weekly college football game, the OSU-Miami matchup produced a week’s worth of shrugs so profound that historians of ennui had to dig deep in the archives for less-meaningful games. Florida A&M? Eastern Michigan? Case Western?

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• The $65 question: Don’t know how it works in y’all’s house, but when we in the Matter clan head out for a classy meal, we expect the quality of the food to at least approach the quantity of the dollars we drop when the check comes. The first course had some flavor, at least, but what was with the plate of thrice-heated Banquet fried chicken and gummy mashed potatoes served up as the main course? Let’s hope Chez Horseshoe steps up its game in the weeks ahead.

• Spread the wealth? After Ohio State obliterated the betting line the past two weeks against teams that had enough going to possibly make things sticky — Cincinnati won 11 games last year, Indiana was on the road — the spread for a suspected Miami mauling hung at 39 points most of the week. The RedHawks scoring the first five points opened some eyes; the Buckeyes’ 42-point second quarter slammed them shut.

• This week in nursery rhymes: When the bough breaks, the cradle (of coaches) will fall.

• This week in vanity plates: TDS X 11

The View

• How the team sees it: Practice, practice, practice. When are we going to stop practicing and actually play a game? And why were 103,000 people at our practice?

• How the pollsters will see it: Reaching 70 points is mighty impressive, and we suspect an SEC team would do just that to you.

• How Buckeye Nation sees it: Happy we won, happier still that Meat-chicken lost. But does that mean we should start worrying about Wisconsin?

Hey, what Day did say?

• What he said: “So, a job well done, but it’s 'What have you done for me lately?' We need to go to Lincoln and get a big win next week.”

• What it means: “I haven’t been in this town very long, but I know it’s all flowers and chocolates until you spit the bit on fourth-and-1.”

They said it

• Your turn/the channel: After a three-week run of network television pampering from Fox and ABC/ESPN, the Buckeyes traveled the triple-A buses down the dial for their first Big Ten Network appearance. But wait, no one rings the BTN rating registers like Ohio State; it’s good for business. Regardless, the network delivered a serviceable show, despite the game’s lack of pulse after halftime. That allowed the BTN producers to wander off topic, such as Brutus Buckeye nailing 50-yard field goals in full costume. And Brutus standing on his head in the end zone. And Brutus knocking over fans protected by giant inflated balls.

• Overheard: Referee John O’Neill, one minute after announcing a delay because of lightning with 2:40 remaining: “By mutual consent of both head coaches, the game is over.” Unidentified player: “Yes!” Unidentified press box wag: “Why didn’t you do that at halftime?”

Numbers for dummies

19: Touchdowns produced by Ohio State quarterback Justin Fields through four games (13 passing, six rushing)

17: TDs produced by Dwayne Haskins Jr. through four games last season (16 passing, one rushing)

79: Yardage differential between Miami (77) and Ohio State (minus-2) in the first 7 minutes, 35 seconds

259: Yardage differential between OSU (252) and Miami (minus-7) in the second quarter

32: Seconds between Ohio State touchdowns in the first minute of the second quarter, turning a 7-5 OSU lead to 21-5

On tap

Things get serious for the Buckeyes beginning Saturday night at Nebraska — at least that’s what conventional wisdom suggests. In reality, the Cornhuskers that began the season as Big Ten West darlings under second-year coach Scott Frost have played as much like feed corn as sweet corn. Nebraska’s road thus far has included a struggle with South Alabama and loss at Colorado before a get-well game at Illinois on Saturday night — a supposed get-well game, anyway.

Tweethearts

Best responses to the game on Twitter:

@crash777burn123: This game reminds me when a teenager plays a basketball game with their 7-year-old sibling. You give them a nice lead to start the game before crushing their hopes & dreams

@SteveVaughn: Unfortunately for Chuck Martin, recess has four quarters.

@jleegill: Fields keeping Miami athletic trainers in business taping up linebackers ankles

@wcarson: Chase Young is like when you create a Madden player with 99 everything

@hawaii50bruh: My wife is not letting me cheer for Ohio State touchdowns, she feels sorry for Miami

@docboogie: Damn. Ohio State has no chill. And I like it

@MatthewABaird: #fireharbaugh is trending. I DO NOT agree! PLEASE keep him forever.

Horseshoe haiku

Lightning strikes end game

early; then it rained like hell

in the fourth quarter

rstein@dispatch.com